The Suite Life at Hogwarts
by strawberryfinn
Summary: Ship 'em all off to Hogwarts in my opinion. Tapeworm is now Harry, Cody is Hermione, and Zack is Ron. R & R!


**Note**: Ok, now I do not own _Harry Potter_ or _The Suite Life_. This is some crazy idea that managed to squeeze into my head, so here goes. I hope you enjoy... laugh a couple of times. Yeah.

A man wearing a dark-colored suit stood at the front of the driveway, rubbing his hairless chin with a perfectly manicured looking hand. He seemed to be waiting for something.

Taking a small, wooden-looking stick out of the pocket inside his coat, he waved it around, muttering a strange word. All the street lights popped out, no one seeming to notice.

He pulled out a golden pocket-watch out of his pocket as well, and flipped it open. If anybody had been able to see—which nobody could see—there would be, instead of numbers around the edges, there were planets. Nobody saw except for the bird—the bird with a tuft of hair on its head—that the man did not notice.

"She's late," he muttered quietly, shaking his head. "I suppose I should have expected it."

"Expected what?" came a sharp voice. The man looked up. A blonde lady with short, spiky hair stood there with her hands on her hips. Her attire was a bit—unusual, to say the very least. She had a maroon-colored robe on—something one did not see every day. The bird was gone.

"Nothing, Carey, nothing. I should have known."

"Don't you nothing, Carey me!" yelped the lady.

The man ignored her. "Carey, I believe it is time to celebrate."

"So it's true, Marion? It's true?"

The man, Marion, looked down. "Yes it is."

The lady let out a wheezy breath. "Thank God. He's gone. The Dark Lord has finally fallen. What really happened?"

"He tried to hurt the boy… Sean Axle. You know, the son of Joshua and Rachel Axle. They… gave up their lives to protect him. And when he tried to hurt the child, I don't know. He destroyed his power. Completely."

There was a silence and then she asked quietly, "What about the boy? The poor boy, his poor parents…" she broke off, wiping a tear from her eye.

"His parents are… dead. The boy? Esteban is bringing him," the man said. Marion.

"ESTEBAN?" The lady gave an audible gasp. " Marion, you must be kidding me."

"I have complete faith that Esteban will manage to bring him here safely," Marion said.

"Why here though? I've seen this Muggle neighborhood. The boy will not fit in."

"They are his only relatives," breathed the man. "They will have to do their best. This is where he will be safe, until it is time…"

He was interrupted by a shadow covering the moon. A huge balloon, covered in different colored stripes, appeared, and slowly drifted down to land on the ground.

"Esteban!" exclaimed the man. "What is this monstrosity?"

"Many apologies, Mr. Moseby," said a worried looking man who had a slight accent. "I borrowed it from Arwin."

"Hawkheiser?" asked Carey in a disgusted tone of voice. One could see she did not particularly care for Esteban or Arwin for that matter.

"Yes, ma'am," Esteban said. He seemed to be the person who was eager to please.

"Where's the boy?" Carey asked suspiciously. What if the man had _eaten_ the poor child?

"He's here," whispered Esteban, pulling a bundle out of the balloon.

Mr. Moseby took the bundle of blankets from him carefully, and opened the top of it. "Oh, dear. Poor child."

Carey looked over his shoulder. "Is there anything we can do about that mark of his?"

"I think it will only make him stronger," said Mr. Moseby. The boy had thick, dark brown hair, and was sleeping soundly. On his forehead, there was a mark that strangely looked like a hotdog.

"Leave him be," said Esteban. "I have a scar that looks exactly like a dust bunny, and it has never done me any harm." A tear ran down his cheek. "Oh dear. Poor boy. I came over there, and poor Rachel and Joshua Axle… they tried so hard to protect him." He couldn't help himself and started to bawl. "I… I don't want to say good-bye to him. He's such a little tyke."

"Oh, Esteban," said Carey, who looked like she was about to cry herself. "Don't be ridiculous. We'll see him in about eleven years. And he'll be in good hands. They managed to save him."

"Good luck, my boy," whispered Mr. Moseby.

"Can I say… good-bye?" Esteban whispered.

"Yes, you can, Esteban," said Mr. Moseby gravely.

Esteban went over to a house with a yellow door and set down the bundle on the steps. "Dear boy… Sean… good luck. _Adios, mi hijo_. I swear that one day, I Esteban Julio Ricardo Montoya De Rosa Ramirez," Carey looked at him in disgust, "will come back to get you. Do good. Be well. Fight for what your parents gave you."

He walked off, not daring to look back—afraid he would dissolve into tears.

"It's ok, Esteban," said Carey crossly. She tended to become cross when she was sad.

"Let us celebrate," said Mr. Moseby hoarsely. "Before the Dark Lord rises again."

And the boy, sleeping soundly on the porch, had no idea that his life had changed forever. He did not know that one day he would be the biggest celebrity in the magical world. He did not know he would be later known as Tapeworm. He did not know that everybody was celebrating about him right now.

He did not know about his future. For now, he slept.

Review? Sort of crummy, in my opinion


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